This is a limited summary of the book "Black and Blue" by Veronica Gorrie, published in 2021. Veronica worked for a decade in the Queensland Police, from 2001. The first half of her memoir talks about her life growing up ('Black'), then the second half talks about her experiences working in the Queensland Police ('Blue'). Veronica's capabilities as an outstanding storyteller make this book a good read.
Veronica Gorrie descends from the Gunai/Kurnai tribe had three siblings, an older brother and sister, and a younger brother. Her father is a Gunai man, and her mother was a first-generation White Australian - who's father was from Kent, England. The parts I refer to in this article are the themes that stood out to me after reading the book. I applaud Veronica's strength in sharing with us these experiences from her life.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead, and potentially traumatic scenes.
Contents
Stolen Generation
Veronica's grandmother, Linda Turner, was a strong woman. Linda gave birth when she was around 16 years old in 1950. The baby was Veronica's father, and she was immediately taken away from his mother in the hospital birthing suite and taken to an orphanage called "The Haven", in Fitzroy North. After the birth, they sterilised her without her consent. Linda repeatedly sent letters to two government departments to see her child, the Aboriginal Board of Protectors and the Children's Welfare Department, and she was told the only way to get her son back was to get married.
Four years later she got married with Veronica's grandfather, Carl Turner, who was aware of her plight. Her grandmother's request was then granted to reclaim her own son, but then the wife of the manager of the orphange, Mrs Rule, told the matron that "it was a shame that the child was being returned to the mother and that she wanted custody of him". Amendments were made and her grandmother was placed on probation on caring for her own child, and Mrs Rule would bathe the baby everyday to look for bruises, but nothing was found, and only then was her grandmother allowed to keep her baby.
A Reliable Father
Veronic has great admiration for her father, John Gorrie, there is nothing that can describe it better than her own words:
"My father is an incredible man. He is my best friend. I look at him as if is superhuman. ... There has never been a time, when I've needed him, that he has let me down".
"I may have had a dysfunctional life, but I was always loved and cared about by my father."
On writing of her father in a complimentary way: "You have been my pillar of strength, my motivator, and the deadliest father."
Forgiving Her Mother
Her mother would mistreat her from a young age, to the point where a young Veronica would choose to live with her father from the age of 7. The hardships she had to endure I will not describe here.
Veronica's mother suffered from cancer that had spread to her heart. On recollecting an event from working in the police when she had to inform adult children of their dead mother: "I said, 'I'm sorry for your loss.' They said, 'We're not. We hated her - she was nothing but a violent drunk.' ... it reminded me of the relationship I had with my mother, and was something I would have said prior to spending the last six weeks of her life with her."
"I just hope that Mum knew that I had forgiven her a long time ago for walking out on us kids".
Sexual Abuse
The occurences of sexual abuse she survived is described in the book and I won't share that here, these sections are an emotional read. What is worth sharing is the severe impact it had had on her, in her words:
"I felt so dirty, and wanted so much to tell my dad, but thought that no one would believe me."
"I couldn't move, I was terrified. I didn't know what to do. I lay there awake for the rest of the night, just looking around."
"It would be five years before I told my father ... he pulled the car over and cried ... I felt so relieved ... I had finally told someone ... my father ... it felt like a weight off my shoulders, I could finally breathe again."
Domestic Abuse
As Veronica was growing up, she witnessed a lot of domestic violence, from her own parents to close friends and family. Unfortunately she herself was unable to avoid it directly, when her boyfriend, who was a childcare worker and appeared to be a good person, turned violent:
"I remember vividly the first time he punched me. I was heavily pregnant ... holding my older child on my hip ... he walked up to me, and with a closed fist, punched me in an upward motion to my nose." This was in the company of four of his friends.
No matter where Veronica would escape to with her three children, her violent partner would follow, and always find out where she was. He was able to do so because his sister had hired a private investigator.
Veronica receives a phone call from her ex-partner, the father of her two youngest children: "if he saw me at my grandmother's funeral, he would put me in her grave with her".
Her ex-partner gained limited visitation rights through the family court for their two children, their 3 year old son, and 14 month old daughter: "... the only reason I handed my children over [was] because I knew he wouldn't adhere to the order". After a two week visitation the children weren't returned to Veronica, and the police only located them eight weeks later, her ex-partner lost visitation rights and was charged with kidnapping.
At a later date, a relative of her ex-partner would call up the Department of Welfare, Child Saftey and accuse Veronica of not being a good mother. "I was shocked; I couldn't understand why anybody would say that I would harm my babies". The department assessed her two older children, by doing a strip search of them to look for bruises on their bodies. They found nothing and closed the complaint, and would ignore future complaints.
The Queensland Police
Veronica already had negative experiences with the police before she had joined the police. An instance of this is when her family home was searched by the police one early morning, with a search warrant, because a local music shop was broken into - coincidentally her brother would visit Veronica and her kids with his guitar. They searched everywhere in the house while her children were asleep and left empty handed. She was able to get an apology from the police after involving the media.
After seeing an ad in an Aboriginal newspaper the "Koori Mail", Veronica applied to join the police force to see if she could get in, and with the intention of trying to change the police's perspective of aboriginal people.
Throughout her decade of service she would attend all kinds of crime scenes, all detailed in the book. After serving for many years, it would take a toll. On being able to separate her personal life and work life: "I was taking a downhill spiral. I'd lost the ability to switch off".
After a life-threatening incident at work as a police officer: "I started feeling really down and isolated ... I would go into the bathroom at work and cry ... at home very night, I was having vivid nightmares from which I would wake up screaming".
Veronica was diagnosed with PTSD and later offered a resignation due to not being fit for duty in 2011. She started taking medicine to help with depression and OCD.
References
[1] Black & Blue, 2021. Veronica Gorrie.
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